Queen Defender of the faith: Nov 28, 2008

Pages

Friday, November 28, 2008

Chapter 19 of the subgenius

[from Chapter 19, "The Book of the SubGenius"]

DOCTORS FOR "Bob" will themselves explain what they are on one condition:
just send them some of those Oh-God-all-my-internal-organs-are-bring-ripped-
out-my-throat-one-by-one-Ers AND some no,-dear,-I-don't-think-I'll-be-going-
to-work-to-morrow-ers, AND some King-of-Norway-coming-all-the-way-to-Dallas-
just-for-the-opening-of-Norwegian-Day-at-the-Texas-Fair-ERS. That's right,
just take those pills and throw 'em in the mailbox; you don't need an
envelope, you don't even need a stamp; just toss 'em in that mailbox and
*think* North Little Rock, and they'll get 'em. AND HERE'S WHY: The King, the
King of Norway, most feared continent on the globe, is indeed coming to
Dallas; the very MONARCH of the land of WOTAN, he who serves the Northern
Fathers who slumber beneath the glaciers, *The King* is coming, the very sword
of Odin, the mighty Switchblade of WODEN; DOCTORS FOR "BOB" must be *there* on
that acre of land of the State Fair where the King of all Norawy as some of
the most disgusting freaks of America, who are on display for *money*, we MUST
see that the King is not offended or assassinated while in Dallas, we will be
his personal servants and bodyguards, we will become like army ants which bite
onto each other's limbs to create a living SHROUD of bulletproofness *around*
the King, OH TAKE ME, Fierce Bullet, TAKE NOT the King whose sword serves
Odin, split My cranium and splatter my brains that he my live /and that I may
not EVER have to "EXPLAIN"/ either Doctors for "Bob" or Puzzling Evidence or
LIES or any of the other quasi-SubGenius affiliated organizations which make
the inexplicable SubGenius World Conventions, and the Tape Network, what they
are, OH PLEASE, Brave Bullet, split MY left and right brains down the middle
that the great Sceptre of the King not be prevented from leaving his Seed of
Yetidom across the Northern Plains, sacrifice ME that he who is the crowned
leader of the land of Ymir the Hoar-Frost Giant not be *shaken* in his
meditations, OH KING, we have prepared *The Hill of Foreskins*, our widows
cry, they weep as they burn that great Pile of Sheaths we have given *for
thee*; OH PROUD AND BRAVE BULLET, find NOT your target the Liege, OH ODIN,
take literally my request to KILL ME, /that I may never have to describe the
indescribable schedules of events at SubGenius Revivals;/ O Stout and Noble-
Hearted Bullet, reverse thy perfect Course, O Horizontally-ravelling, Pope-
hatted Messenger of Death, whose *steel-shod testicles* are *potent* with
History, O Bullet of Northern European Heritage which is *destined* to start
World War III no matter what the Runes Writ in the Skull's Eyes may say, we
will AID THEE in thy path of destruction, and urge ye to DO WHAT THOU WILT, so
long as ye harm *not* the King and not *allow* us to "pretend" to describe the
scene at the last Convention when the Patriarchy of the Church was physically
thrown off the stage by the women of the Church who grabbed the mikes and
forced men to strip and marry one another; O Pill-Taking Bullet, which no
drunkenness can divert from thy staid course, we shall encase our meager
bodies in coats lined with pill-bottles that they may deter thy thirsty Aim
and satify thee by thine entering of our carcasses; O Metal-Gonadded Slug,
whose trajectory can be tainted not by intoxication, STAY US from telling of
the unspeakable death of Sterno in the first ten minutes of the DOCTORS FOR
"BOB" concert and his subsequent resurrection by the Head by the Head by the
Dominatrixes, which preceded the /Launching/ of said Head (and its false decoy
brother of latex), resulting in the False Head being ejaculated by the
radisson Hotel itself out the fire-escape and across the street onto the roof
of the building next door during a game of Golfer Head Disco Soccer, from
whence Buck rescued it by scaling the building with a rope in the dead of
night while the Doctors lay on the floor of their room and pondered how the
sacred PIE PIE film had been lost on the 13th floor of a hotel /which had no
13th floor;/ OH KING help us to recover this sacred Super-8 film from the
heathens who have defiled it, this film whose scenes *change magically* from
showing to showing, perhaps, some day, to show /THE TRUTH???!?/ OH KING of
Norawy whose ancestors begat the Viking explorers who left broadaxes across
North America to puzzle the archaeologists, and who had the sense to leave
this land, from whom descended the blonde denture-creme smiling people of the
TV screen who act out the inane video hieroglyphs of the Gods, o ye great
Aryan Stud-Lord of Norway, ODIN, who hath been depicted in *Thor Comics*,
*Tales of Asgard*, o YE who cannot be defeated by Loki, O KING, ye who /ARE
the hearty Bullet/ which would pierce *thyself* and /ARE the *Gun*/ which
would shoot that selfsame Bullet FOR NO OTHER REASON than to relieve of us of
the hellish duty of describing the Mass held on November 22 at Dealy Plaza in
Dallas where the SubGeniuses crossed swords with assassination buffs of lesser
creeds and where the great Evidence of the demon Uberbrow was unleashed
against those who framed our friend Lee O., O Light-Hearted Bullet, O Wise and
Compassionate Bullet, O Bullet of Love which hath been used in all great
Assassinations, O Bullet of Understanding, O Bullet of the eternal orbital
plane around the planet which is called won by the yearnings of psychotics, /O
SEED BULLET/ which brought good-bad life-death to Earth and shall remove it in
the end, /O EGG BULLET/ who is the Mother of All Bullets, which with thine
iron-sheathed testicles did birth all the Race of Bullets, O Votive Bullet
whose bowels of gunpowder cannot be exploded except by the Pin of the Hammer
of Thor Himself, WE BESEECH THEE, divert thy path from the King and into MY
Heart, that he *not be startled* and that the intense 3-day "be-ins" and
"freak-outs" which are SubGenius World Parties not be defiled by impure
Description; happiness will depart from Earth forever if we are forced to do
such a terrible thing as to describe the Head-Launchings or the Healings, or
the paranormal dancing of ashtrays or the nameless force which jumps from one
participant to another, causing them to Spout in Tongues; O All-Knowing Bullet
who delivers the Final Answer to All Philosophies, whose wisdom is the only
Unquestionable Wisdom, o Hollowest of Hollow-Points, whose nothingness
encompasses the Universe, O Most /Logical/ Bullet, rip MY /\/; torture ME in a
Guatemalan prison camp for TEN YEARSlest the air around the King be
*disturbed*, lay thine jolly Cattle Prod against *my* genitals that none of
these may happen, let my *entire body* be converted to a wall of membranous
/nerve/ connected to a brain whose only function is to /feel PAIN/ while a
/flame-thrower/ is placed against that wall of membrane LEST a breeze of a
temperature even SLIGHTLY uncomfortable for the King exist *anywhere* on the
planet, Steel Pellet, *pee not the King's ass*, who can use /Ymir the Hoar-
Frost Giant/ as an /icecube/ in his /Nestea/, "BOB", the question isn't *what*
they are but *how* and *why* is DOCTORS FOR "BOB"? WHY did over 40 people
"become", uninvited, "Doktors for "Bob" " at each Convention? Was it because
`doktor' is a generic term for anyone who plays joyously that instrument which
he *cannot* play? If so, they are Doktors *from* "Bob" and *of* "Bob" but the
fact is, Doctors FOR "Bob" is really some kind of bodiless entity, some kind
of nameless FORCE that's beyond any of us... you could only ask *IT*, the Drs.
for "Bob" *Force*, what it is; you can't ask Janor or Sterno or Drelloid or
Snavely or Bill or Ringo or the others, because they have nothing to do with
the transmissions that are received through their vocal cords; Even the Bullet
knows not, even the King knows not. We call to thee, O Bullet, to give a two
hour speech to thineself in midair!O Steel-Clad Friend, strike US that /we
never again speak/ of the unlabeled capsules with which Pastor Naked pelts the
crowd; O pointy-headed, O Speedy Pal, o Virtuous Dum-Dum of my bosom, O Flying
Penis, O Fertilizer and Ventilator of Great Men, O Great ER-Ridden, Wind-
Riding *Steedless Flyer* whose preordained trajectory we pray to change
*anyway*, O Brainless Warrior, O Farmer of Kings' Blood, O Driller of Flesh, O
/Slug/, if ye choppeth down the King in the middle of the State Fairgrounds
and only Helen Keller is there to hear it, *was* there a Doctors for "Bob"
concert? O Happy, Impudent, Lead-Wearing Nudist, O Barer of the Brains of
Presidents, O Manual Do-It-Yourself Exploratory Brain Surgeon, O Journeyman
into Thinking Organs, O Dauntless Projectile of Odin's Wrath, hear my plea,
that I might not discuss the Media Barrage tapes sold by the SubGenius
Foundation, and inspired/co-created with Puzzling Evidence and others, for the
spectatcularity thereof would only be sullied by any attempt to reproduce them
on paper; O He most smited upon by the gods though Clothed in Blood upon
Exiting the Heads of Presidents and Monarchs, O Ye Deity of Lead, O Ye Slug of
the Elder Gods which shatters the wrists of state governors, O whistling Pied
Piper, O Fluting *Pan* of Lead, /sing not thy song/ unto the King but
/instead/ unto Doctors for "Bob" that we not inadvertently taint the glory of
the over 80 songs about "Bob" and the other Space Bosses which exist on those
Media Barrage Tapes; O Robin Hood of 44-Magnums, let we poor Doctors be the
"Rich" ye rob of tissue and the King be the beggar ye award mercy, that the
reader realize the incomparability of the Tapes and Songs and the Divine
Wellmanization thereof EXCEPT to this very excuse not to compare them to
anything; O Spinning Missile Whose Kiss Is trampled in the 10-watt light of
our Quills; O /Innocent/ Bullet, O /Guilty/ Bullet, which art thou? How can we
presume to judge? We stand to receive thee, we who are of but flesh and
understand not the way of the /Lead-Clad Ones,/ we of the inferior Flesh-
Encladded Clan, we are but *gasses* to thee, ye pass through us as we pass
through the stale vapours of fat Texans which befoul the air through which
will stride the Emperor of Odin-Land! Once can speak of "Bob", one can speak
of Slack, of The Conspiracy, for any fool *knows* they are beyond words, but
to even BEGIN to lower /the Living Church/ to /description/ would be to tempt
the reader to think he *understood* it without "seeing" it; this would be
FOLLY! "Bob" knew that to describe the Living Church would take 10,000 volumes
to be presented in truthful incoherency, to do less would be to invite the end
of all life on Earth, so we were *shown* the way, we were taught by default
that the Bullet, because it has no sex, is the Perfect Teacher. We were meant
to sidestep the issue until we realized the issue could ONLY be presented
*through* sidestepping, and THAT is the Way of the "Bob", or KILL US and HIM:
four guns surround the head of "Bob", they fire and the head implodes and the
four executioners are also killed simultaneously deep inside that cave-tomb;
the deaf-monk outside, *who must not hear the shots*, simply /"knows"/ somehow
that the deed is done, and he gravely rolls the great stone over the cave
entrance and seals it forever: ANYTHING to avoid /explaining/, ANYTHING, even
/killing "Bob",/ for after all is not "Bob" the gun anyway and YOU the Bullet,
slamming into ANYTHING at 186,000 inches per second, EVEN "Bob's" head, in
order to sanctify the fact that the Bullet IS the One God who cannot be
questioned *more than once*, /the Gun is the One World Religion/...
*Perchance*, Mighty Sir Bullet, I might make a suitable *Target* that I might
not have to defile the reality of the Church's living members? Perhaps my
humble flesh might make an acceptable *umbrella* for thy Rain of Lead? It's
the only logical way, it makes PERFECT sense, it's the only possible correct
substitute for explaining the unbelievably important but compex /Time
Intersection/ which this Book is too short to do, /YES!/ It is inescapable, it
was all *meant* to happen, fate decreed every step, every iota of activity by
all SubGeniuses has led to THIS MOMENT YOU ARE READING, and /NOW/ - /*YOU MUST
DIE*/. Well, no, just kidding. But it was a lesson: when we quit seeking the
answer we found it; we have reached the Buddha Nature, we have Achieved The
Form, reality was inverted, we all became Bullets, /HOW CAN YOU BE READING
THIS???/ It erases all you have read in this Book so far, WAIT A MINUTE, /MY
GOD, WE'VE BEEN FOOLS?/ It *wasn't* "Bob" that was the One True Lord, NO! /It
was the Bullet!/ No, wait, that's not right... it was the /Head, YES, THE
HEAD!/ - no that can't be right. /"BOB", "BOB", TAKE MY MIND!!!/ Ah yes,
that's better, "Bob", you speak with TOTAL AUTHORITY, we will again follow you
nywhere, unquestioningly, for /YE/ are the Bullet, O "Bob", ye ultimate /lead
sexual organ/, *raoe* not thy Sister the Hem of the King's Robe, tarnish not
her virginity, instead force *us* to write the chapter by night *without our
own knowledge*, /IT WRITES US/, WE OURSELVES are sent spinning towards the
head of the King... whether we shall splatter it or not we shall find out in
the NEXT Book, it all builds to a horrendous knowledge of everything at once,
which equals nothing, which penetrates, slowly yet instantly, the skin of the
forehead, then cracks through the skull, drilling, then starts to spin as it
swims through the brain mush... YES, "Bob" is God's way of "coming", and the
real DOCTORS FOR "BOB" and all the other doktors and saints and popes and
ministers and even schizmites are the Seed which Spreads the Plasmate of
Information of Freedom, because the Doctors killed "Bob" *first*, and they saw
as very few do that "Bob's" grin, while innocent-looking, /also implies a
hellish ultimate horror;/ it's the insane yet *knowledgeable* grin not unlike
that of a /skull/: WHY DO THEY GRIN LIKE THAT? *Do they know something we
don't?* Are they making up for lost time? Is it someone's sick idea of a JOKE?
Perhaps it is all of these, but it *definitely is* the Doorway to the perfect
Money-Making Formula, the one-image equation for eternal /Slack/, but more
important than even *that*, do you know where I could get me some of them
ANSW
-ERS?


revival

                 __  /\
|__| \ \ :
_____ _____ _____ _____> \____ __|__ _
| . | __| | > | | > | |
---===[ | /_ __| /| | / _ | |__ ]===---
__|__|__|_____| _/ |__|___/__|__|_____|
| | / | | :
. \/ . : .
.
- WAR! -

_____/\ _____/\ _____/\
\ ___/ \ ___ \ \ ___/
\/ \ /\/ _/ /\/ | \
/ / / |\ \ / /__| \
\ \ \__|/\ \\____ /
\_/ Y \_/ Y \_/
Y ! Y ! Y
! : ! : !
: . : O :
. . . .
o O o o

Tha Ruthless 0rganization

babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby
babybaby yba aby byba abyb byba babybaby
babybaby bybabyba babybaby byb yba babybaby byb yba ba ba babybaby
babybaby yba babybaby yba aby yba ba ba babybaby
babybabybabyb yba babybaby byb yba babybaby byb yba ba ba babybaby
babybaby yba aby byb yba aby byb yba ba ba babybaby
babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby


Living in such a state taTestaTesTaTe etats a hcus ni gniviL
of mind in which time sTATEsTAtEsTaTeStA emit hcihw ni dnim of
does not pass, space STateSTaTeSTaTeStAtE ecaps ,ssap ton seod
does not exist, and sTATeSt oFOfOfo dna ,tsixe ton seod
idea is not there. STatEst ofoFOFo .ereht ton si aedi
Stuck in a place staTEsT OfOFofo ecalp a ni kcutS
where movements TATeSTa foFofoF stnemevom erehw
are impossible fOFoFOf elbissopmi era
in all forms, UfOFofO ,smrof lla ni
physical and nbEifof dna lacisyhp
or mental - uNBeInO - latnem ro
your mind is UNbeinG si dnim rouy
focusing on a unBEING a no gnisucof
lone thing, or NBeINgu ro ,gniht enol
a lone nothing. bEinGUn .gnihton enol a
You are numb and EiNguNB dna bmun era ouY
unaware to events stneve ot erawanu
taking place - not -iSSuE- ton - ecalp gnikat
knowing how or what ####### tahw rp wph gniwonk
to think. You are in --oNe-- ni era uoY .kniht ot
a state of unbeing.... ....gniebnu fo etats a

--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--


TYM - Taking Your Machine

PRESENTS


-+-+-====================================================================-+-+-
____________ ____ _____ _____ _________
/\____ ____\ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \ /\ _____\
\/___/\ \___/ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \ \ \ \___ /
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\ \ \ \ __\
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \__\ \ \ \ \ \_/___
\ \__\ \ \___\ \ \__\/__/\ \__\ \ \_______\
\/__/ \/___/ \/__/ \/__/ \/_______/

_________ ______ ________ _________
/\ _____\ /\ __ \ /\ __ \ /\ ___ \
\ \ \___ / \ \ \/\ \ \ \ \_\ \ \ \ \_/\ \
\ \ __\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ / \ \ \\_\ \
\ \ \_/ \ \ \_\ \ \ \ \\ \ \ \ ___ \
\ \__\ \ \_____\ \ \__\\_\ \ \__\_/\__\
\/__/ \/_____/ \/__//_/ \/__/ \/__/

________ ___ ___ ________ _____ ___ ________ _______
/\ ____\ /\ \ /\ \ /\ __ \ /\ \ /\ \ /\ ____\ /\ ___\
\ \ \ \ \ \\_\ \ \ \ \/\ \\ \ \ \\ \ \ \ \ \_ _/_\ \ \__/
\ \ \ \ \ ___ \ \ \ \_\ \\ \ \\ \ \ \ \ \ \/\_ \\ \ _\
\ \ \____ \ \ \_/\ \ \ \ __ \\ \ \/\ \\ \ \ \ \/_\ \\ \ \/__
\ \______\ \ \__\\ \__\ \ \__\ \__\\ \__\//\_____\ \ \_______\\ \_____\
\/______/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/\/__/ \/__/ \/_____/ \/_______/ \/_____/

-+-+-====================================================================-+-+-

rip

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+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+




_
/ \ _
_ |\_/|/ \
/ \|---|\_/|
_ |\_/| | |
/ \| | | | |/
|\_/| |=-=| | / /__
| |=-=| |=-=| \ \ sQUIRt!# (hEEHEE!!)
|=-=| | | ||\ \
| | | | | \>
| | | | | \
| - - - - |) )
| /
\ /
\ /
\ /
\ /
| | <-- heehee!!!!!! lamr!!!!
| |
| |

))))))
/ \
| *)(*))|
| > | i phear the PDP!!!
\ == / __/
| |
________________
/__________________\
|| ||
|| bl0tt0!!! ||
||__________________||
\__________________/
| |
/ 0 \
(_______)

i heard...
~~~~~~~~~~

you hear the voice
know the name
but still something's
not the same
he says good-bye
you say oh well
another relationship
gone to hell

your life goes on
it's ok
you see a face
special...some way
the person inside
makes you smile
you feel better
for awhile

then he's gone
doesn't explain
you'll never know
why he went away

you get a call
a reliable source
tells you your love
could've worked
a little birdie
from the past
flew inside
his spell was cast

a piece of advice
a simple test
the hope of your dream
was laid to rest

so it is possible
for your past
you to haunt
what an ass

 KuNT PhUCKz RuDoLPh 2 G3t 1Nt0 D4 ChR1ZTM4S 5P1RiT$&$#&@$!!!!!!!!!

----++++#####$$$$$ KuNT KuNT KuNT KuNT KuNT KuNT KuNT KuNT $$$$$#####++++----

KuNT -- HaQaHS4Ur1NG a M3RRy KrIZtMA5 N 4N 3l33T N3W Y33R$&(*#@^@!!!11!!!1!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------
| KuNTMARK GREETING CARD |
| ______ |
F33Rl3ZZ L33D3R N | / \ |KuNT V1C3 PR3Z1D3NTZ:
F0UND3R D00d: | / O | | TH4 SYB3R-P0NT1FF
S4T4NUZ M4X1MUZ | / | | D1G1T4L M1LK5H4K3
| vvvvvvvvv | |
| \^^^^^^^^ / |
| \___ | \ ___________ |
| / | \/ \ |
S3C0ND 1N C0MM4ND,| | / / | / H4v3 U B33n | | 0TH3R KuNTL1NGZ:
H34D PR0GR4MM3R, | /------ / | |3l33T 0R L4m3| |S1ZT3R M4RY PHUCKF4C3
N GUY WH0 G1V3Z | /v/-----/ | | Th1Z Y34R?? | | CH0P SU1D
0UT T1TL3Z: | | | \___________/ ^ |
D1G1S4URUS H3X | | \ / / |
| | \ / / | C0NTR1BUT0RZ:
| | \ _ / / | R1CH4RD CR3T4N
0FF1C14L KuNT | | \____/ / | SKwAre
CH1N3Z3 F00D | \ \ / |
D3L1V3RY B0Y: | | /\ \ /-- | TH4NX 2:
D34DL1N3 | | / \ \ -----/ | CAPTAIN KIPLOH
| | |\ \ |
| / | | \ | N0 TH4NX 2:
OFF1C14L KuNT | / /_/ | | BSK1N
T01L3T SCRUBB3R: | <|______/_______/ | (fucking elitist
TH3 S1L1C0N F4RM3R| Signed, All the family here at KuNT| tyrant asshole)
-----------------------------------------

_____ KuNT
/ o \ EwE HaZ BeeN KuNT
GRRRRR - | v^v^v HaQaSaUrEd KuNT
\ _/ By D4 d00dz 4t KuNT
, | |___, KuNT
| / |---, KUNT INDUSTRIEZ, LIMITED KuNT
\\_/ / KuNT
\_/|||| HaVe A KuNT
|||| FuQeD Up KuNT
|_|_> Day, PhAg! KuNT

_ __ _______ _______
| | / / / __ \ | __ \ We're cool
| | / / | / \__| | [ ] | because WE
| | / / | | | [ ] | got a group
| |/ / | | | [__] | of friends
| / | | __ | _____/ 2-gether
| \ | | | \ | __ \ and a cool
| |\ \ | | | | | [ ] | acronym!
| | \ \ | | | | | [ ] |
| | \ \ | \_/ | | [__] |
|_| \_\ \_______/ |_______/
K-RAD GNUZ & BULLSHIT



___________ ___ ___ _________
/ ________/ / \ / / / _____ | {Looks like this is }
/ / / | / / / / / / {the end! But tune }
/ /____ / / | / / / / / / {in next week for }
/ _____/ / /| |/ / / / / / {another KGB episode!}
/ / / / | / / / / / / {- The Under Dog Show}
/ /_______ / / | / / /____/ /
/__________/ /___/ |___/ /__________|



____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____
| | / \ | / \ / \ / \ / \ . |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | # |
|____| | | | \____ \____ |____| |____| ##, |
| \ | | | \ \ | | | | # # |
| \ | | | | | | | | | | | #P # |
| \ \____/ \_____ \____/ \____/ | | | | # 0[ |
# # #oo. |
# #' ##./' |
R O Y A L O R D E R O F T H E L E S S E R _# `## o." |
j# o.. |
S P O T T E D S O U T H A F R I C A N .## () o*... |
Narq! ##" o.. |
A A R D V A R K Narq! #^ j##,+.. |
\ _##? .####<`#*o* . |
Founder: UNiQUE ## _.###^ ##.'_ |
Mascot: Zwobeley _J#####' #" |



\ _ _ / HEY BOYS AND GIRLS! L00K! \ _ _ /
\((___))/ \((___))/
[ o x ] L0CK communications [ o x ]
|(_)| ...presents... |(_)|
( o ) ( o )
/ (_) \ the gnu February 1995 release. / (_) \
/ a buffet of tempting, tantalizing treats the wh0le \
phamily can enj0y. Yes Virginia, there iz a L0CK!@#

Kunt

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BeAfRaIdBeVeRyAfRaIdBeAfRaIdBeVeRyAfRaIdBeAfRaIdBeVeRyAfRaIdBeAfRaIdBeVeRyAfRaId

W G
E==| |== _ |.\ _ _ _ |--| _ I
S | | |.| |_ |_/ |_ | | | |> |\ | |..| |_ V
E | | | | |_ | \ |_ | |_| |\ | \| |__| | o o o E
L ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ______________ I
L |@@@@| /@@@/ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@\ |@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@@@| N
O |@@@@| /@@@/ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@@\ |@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@@@| T
U |@@@@| /@@@/ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@@@\ |@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@@@| O
R |@@@@|/@@@/ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@@@@\|@@@@| |@@@@| K
S |@@@@@@@@/ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@| U
O |@@@@@@@@\ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@| N
U |@@@@|\@@@\ |@@@@| |@@@@| |@@@@|\@@@@@@@| |@@@@| T
L |@@@@| \@@@\ |@@@@|___|@@@@| |@@@@| \@@@@@@| |@@@@| S
S |@@@@| \@@@\ |@@@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@| \@@@@@| |@@@@| P
4 |@@@@| \@@@\ |@@@@@@@@@@@@@| |@@@@| \@@@@| |@@@@| O
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A==I==N===D===U===S===T===R===I===E===Z=,===L===I===M===I===T===E==D==E
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H S

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|XxXxXxXxX| | |XxXxXxXxX| |
|xXxXxXxXx| | |xXxXxXxXx| |
|XxXxXxXxX| | |XxXxXxXxX| |
|xXxXxXxXx| | |xXxXxXxXx| |
|XxXxXxXxX| | |XxXxXxXxX| |
|xXxXxXxXx| | |xXxXxXxXx| |
|===================| |===================|
\ |XxXxXxXx/ \ |XxXxXxXx/
\ |xXxXxXx/ \ |xXxXxXx/
\ |XxXxXx/ The \ |XxXxXx/
\ |xXxXx/ \ |xXxXx/
\ |XxXx/ Electronic \ |XxXx/
\ |xXx/ \ |xXx/
\ |Xx/ A D V E N T U R E R \ |Xx/
\ |X/ -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- \ |x/
v v




_______ _________ __
/ _____/ /___ ___/ / /
/ /__ / / ______ __ __ __ ___ __ ___ _____ / /
/ ___/ __ / / / __ / / / / / / //__/ / //__ \ / ___ \ / /
/ /____ / /__/ / / /_/ / / /_/ / / / / / / / / /__/ / / /
/______/ /______/ /_____/ /_____/ /_/ /_/ /_/ \___/_/ /_/





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......................................................................
: October Issue :
: 1994 Presenting 001 :
: _____ _ ___ _ _ :
: |_ _| |__ ___ |_ _|_ __ | |_ ___ _ __ _ __ ___| |_ :
: | | | '_ \ / _ \ | || '_ \| __/ _ \ '__| '_ \ / _ \ __| :
: | | | | | | __/ | || | | | || __/ | | | | | __/ |_ :
: |_| |_| |_|\___| |___|_| |_|\__\___|_| |_| |_|\___|\__| :
: ___ __ :
: |_ _|_ __ / _| ___ _ __ _ __ ___ ___ _ __ :
: | || '_ \| |_ / _ \| '__| '_ ` _ \ / _ \ '__| :
: | || | | | _| (_) | | | | | | | | __/ | :
: |___|_| |_|_| \___/|_| |_| |_| |_|\___|_| :
: :
: "Information from the material and electronic worlds" :
: :
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: :
: ..Business..Entertainment..Usenet..Internet..Online.Services :
: ..Muds..IRC..News..Writing..Trends..People..Places..Events.. :
: :
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____ ____
{ )-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-( }
| : : |
: | The Internet Informer | :
| : P.O. Box 262 : |
: | Hitchcock, Texas | :
| : 77563 : |
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_)
: ____ _ _ :
: / ___|___ _ __ | |_ ___ _ __ | |_ ___ October :
: table | | / _ \| '_ \| __/ _ \ '_ \| __/ __| 1994 :
: of | |__| (_) | | | | || __/ | | | |_\__ \ :
: \____\___/|_| |_|\__\___|_| |_|\__|___/ :
:.......................................................................:


____ _ _ __ _ _____ _
a / ___|| |__ (_)/ _| |_ | ___|__ _ __ _____ ____ _ _ __ __| |
\___ \| '_ \| | |_| __| | |_ / _ \| '__/ _ \ \ /\ / / _` | '__/ _` |
____) | | | | | _| |_ | _| (_) | | | __/\ V V / (_| | | | (_| |
|____/|_| |_|_|_| \__| |_| \___/|_| \___| \_/\_/ \__,_|_| \__,_|


____ _ _ _
| _ \ __ _| |_ ___| (_)_ __ ___ _
| | | |/ _` | __/ _ \ | | '_ \ / _ \ (_)
| |_| | (_| | || __/ | | | | | __/ _
|____/ \__,_|\__\___|_|_|_| |_|\___| (_)

___ _ _
|_ _|_ __ | |_ ___ _ __ _ __ ___| |_
| || '_ \| __/ _ \ '__| '_ \ / _ \ __|
| || | | | || __/ | | | | | __/ |_
|___|_| |_|\__\___|_| |_| |_|\___|\__|



_____ _ _____ _____
|_ _| |__ ___ |_ _|__ _ __ |_ _|__ _ __ ___
| | | '_ \ / _ \ | |/ _ \| '_ \ | |/ _ \ '_ \/ __|
| | | | | | __/ | | (_) | |_) | | | __/ | | \__ \
|_| |_| |_|\___| |_|\___/| .__/ |_|\___|_| |_|___/
|_|

.....o-O-o......
: The.Top.Tens :
O....o-O-o.....O


____ Internet _
| __ ) _ _ ___(_)_ __ ___ ___ ___
| _ \| | | / __| | '_ \ / _ \/ __/ __|
| |_) | |_| \__ \ | | | | __/\__ \__ \
|____/ \__,_|___/_|_| |_|\___||___/___/





___ __ The _
|_ _|_ __ / _| ___ _ __ _ __ ___ ___ __| |
| || '_ \| |_ / _ \| '__| '_ ` _ \ / _ \/ _` |
| || | | | _| (_) | | | | | | | | __/ (_| |
|___|_| |_|_| \___/|_| |_| |_| |_|\___|\__,_|
___ _
|_ _|_ ____ _____ ___| |_ ___ _ __
| || '_ \ \ / / _ \/ __| __/ _ \| '__|
| || | | \ V / __/\__ \ || (_) | |
|___|_| |_|\_/ \___||___/\__\___/|_|



_____ _ the _ _ __ __ _
| ____| | ___ ___| |_ _ __(_) ___ \ \ / /__ _ __ __| |
| _| | |/ _ \/ __| __| '__| |/ __| \ \ /\ / / _ \| '__/ _` |
| |___| | __/ (__| |_| | | | (__ \ V V / (_) | | | (_| |
|_____|_|\___|\___|\__|_| |_|\___| \_/\_/ \___/|_| \__,_|